


Squirrels In My Pants

by Samandrielwasgood



Series: Stucky drabbles based on a song [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, M/M, Squirrels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samandrielwasgood/pseuds/Samandrielwasgood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's got something hidden in his pants, and Bucky is going to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Squirrels In My Pants

Steve Rogers was just minding his business in the park when it happened. He only went to parks to go on jogs, or to scope out some kind of enemy for work. But one day, he found a new kind of enemy that he would have never expected. They were small, fuzzy, and as evil as evil to get.   
He had squirrels in his pants.   
He started screaming and yelling and running and yelping and crying. He hated squirrels. He could fight any bad guy that there was. But a squirrel? That wouldn’t work for him. They refused to get out, no matter how much he yelled that they were there.   
Some asshole with long hair and a metal arm walked over to him, “Hey. What are you complaining about? Squirrels?” he asked.   
“Yes. Do you want to help me? Or just stand there and watch as my legs are getting killed.” He frowned.   
“I don’t know. Are they driving you nuts?” the guy laughed, “Either you have a weird crotch or you actually have something down there.”  
“I actually have something down there. Because yes. My uhm….privates….are down by my thigh and move and scratch.” he gritted. He felt one bite his knee and he screamed. Fuck, it hurt. It was so bad that Steve was willing to swear in a narrative.   
“Oh. Oh shit. Let me help you.” The guy leaned down and tugged Steve’s pants down, “Wow. You really have squirrels in your pants.” he laughed, “I’m James by the way. But hot people can call me Bucky.”   
Steve rolled his eyes, “You just took my pants off in public, and my legs are bleeding badly. They probably had rabies. Get me to a hospital, James.”   
“That’s Bucky to you, sir.” he chuckled, “But yeah. I’ll take you. Not an ideal first date but we can make it work.”   
All Steve did was roll his eyes, but he didn’t disagree with going on a date, “Maybe our second can be better.” he huffed as he was put in Bucky’s car.   
"Fuck yeah. Maybe next time you're have bunnies in your pants or something." He smiled.  
"Speaking of pants...we left mine in the park..." Steve groaned when Bucky started to drive.  
"That's the whole point." Bucky teased, "They had fucking squirrels in it. Did you really want to put them back on?"   
"Yeah...no...but I'm half naked now." Steve mumbled.   
"That's okay. You won't need your pants once we're done in the hospital." Bucky arrived at the hospital.   
"Now that's just nuts." Steve smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've started writing short fics based on songs when my phone is on shuffle. And this was the first one so I had to do it.


End file.
